Today, I wrote an article for an in-house newsletter to reflect the opinions of my professor, instead of mine, about an issue close to my heart. Writing it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done: on the one hand, there was the constant reminder I was getting from my conscience that I was going against my integrity - which I think I have - and on the other, there was the pressure of being trapped in a course that I have been regretting taking, a course for the fulfillment of which I am sufferring through such things.
I know that you're itching to say that one is never trapped and that there are always ways out, but I disagree. If I had written the article the way I'd have liked it written, my grade would've taken a beating. And as a student, as an aspiring science journalist (which only compounds the shame), as someone for whom tens of deadlines are showing up in the same week, I can't take any sort of beatings now.
The point is this: even though my professor may not be the sort of person who allows for free debate without making you feel like an idiot, the fault is mine. I solemnly swear that the next time I have to make such a choice, I will consider the possibility of going against myself before I decide on it. I haven't been afraid to say "No" before this day, but I haven't realized the difference it is capable of making.
No comments:
Post a Comment