A nursery rhyme for agnostic children

Hell!
Hell is not far away!
Hell is a simple head cold
On a beautiful rainy day
Hell is not far away!

Hell is a great word
That the believers simply say!
Hell is like a bird
That poops on you come Sunday!

Hey!

Hell!
Hell is not far away!
Hell is just a rabid dog
That will chase you astray
Hell is not far away!

Hell is the face of the pedo
Who will steal you while you play!
Hell is the tripping toe
When you spill a whiskey-laden tray!

Hey!

Hell!
Hell is not far away!
Hell is a hefty dinner bill
When it's your turn to pay!
Hell is not far away!