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Showing posts with label temple. Show all posts
Showing posts with label temple. Show all posts

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

A tale of a temple

There is a temple.

In Year I, it has an annual draw of 0 pilgrims.

In Year II, it has an annual draw of 1,000 pilgrims.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 1,000 pilgrims per annum (PPA).

In Year III, it has an annual draw of 1,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year III, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year IV, it has annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.

In Year V, the temple is expected to have a draw of 2,500 PPA.
In Year V, it has an annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year V, the temple is viewed as not-so-good.

Existing funds don't exist.

In Year VI, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 5.
In Year VI, it has an annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.
In Year VI, some funds are utilized to address the needs of 2,000 PPA.
At the end of Year VI, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year VII, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
In Year VII, it has an annual draw of 3,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year VII, the temple is viewed as good.

In the Year VIII, it has an annual draw of 4,000 pilgrims.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 5,000 PPA.
Surplus funds are utilized to address the needs of 1,500 more PPA.

In Year IX, it has an annual draw of 5,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year IX, the temple is viewed as very good.

In Year X, the temple levies an entry of Rs. 15.
In Year X, the temple has an annual draw of 7,500 PPA.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 10,000 PPA.
Surplus funds are utilized to address the needs of 2,000 more PPA.

In Year XI, it has an annual draw of 8,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year XI, the temple is viewed as excellent.

In Year XII, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 20.
In Year XII, it has an annual draw of 6,500 pilgrims.
At the end of Year XII, the temple is viewed as a business venture.

In Year XIII, it has an annual draw of 5,250 pilgrims.

In Year XIV, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
At the end of Year XIV, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year XV, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
In Year XV, it has an annual draw of 5,000 pilgrims.
At the end of year XV, the temple is viewed as crowded, noisy but necessary.

The end.

A tale of a temple

There is a temple.

In Year I, it has an annual draw of 0 pilgrims.

In Year II, it has an annual draw of 1,000 pilgrims.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 1,000 pilgrims per annum (PPA).

In Year III, it has an annual draw of 1,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year III, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year IV, it has annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.

In Year V, the temple is expected to have a draw of 2,500 PPA.
In Year V, it has an annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year V, the temple is viewed as not-so-good.

Existing funds don't exist.

In Year VI, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 5.
In Year VI, it has an annual draw of 2,000 pilgrims.
In Year VI, some funds are utilized to address the needs of 2,000 PPA.
At the end of Year VI, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year VII, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
In Year VII, it has an annual draw of 3,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year VII, the temple is viewed as good.

In the Year VIII, it has an annual draw of 4,000 pilgrims.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 5,000 PPA.
Surplus funds are utilized to address the needs of 1,500 more PPA.

In Year IX, it has an annual draw of 5,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year IX, the temple is viewed as very good.

In Year X, the temple levies an entry of Rs. 15.
In Year X, the temple has an annual draw of 7,500 PPA.

Existing funds are utilized to address the needs of 10,000 PPA.
Surplus funds are utilized to address the needs of 2,000 more PPA.

In Year XI, it has an annual draw of 8,000 pilgrims.
At the end of Year XI, the temple is viewed as excellent.

In Year XII, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 20.
In Year XII, it has an annual draw of 6,500 pilgrims.
At the end of Year XII, the temple is viewed as a business venture.

In Year XIII, it has an annual draw of 5,250 pilgrims.

In Year XIV, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
At the end of Year XIV, the temple is viewed as good.

In Year XV, the temple levies an entry fee of Rs. 10.
In Year XV, it has an annual draw of 5,000 pilgrims.
At the end of year XV, the temple is viewed as crowded, noisy but necessary.

The end.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

The Bloody Crowd

It becomes too much to expect to be able to sleep for two hours in the afternoon when you're the only grandson in an illustrious family - the span of the illustration being quite vast.

After a morning spent in a temple without any ventilation whatsoever and watching sweaty, old men bathing idols in scented water and milk, I came back for a ghee-drenched lunch, which isn't all that sumptuous when you can taste ghee in the water you're drinking. After that, I "reserved" my imminent tenure as occupier of a bed with a novel but soon found it in vain after platoons of relatives arrived in Maruti 800s and Swifts - always the brand loyalists - and turned on all the lights in the house. And by all the lights, I mean all the lights, like some occultist army bearing down upon the mood lighting-seeker. Oh, the cacophony!

I should have said this in the beginning: today is my grandfather's 79th birthday and you can find out all about its auspices in an old entry here. I'm not sure I comprehend the semantics but on such a wonderful day, he has to stand facing the east while his wife, nephews, nieces, children, their cousins, grandchildren, their cousins, and our neighbours prostrate before him and seek his blessings. Today, he's god. I can't quite place my finger on it but there's an irony hidden somewhere in there. In all of this, I'm pushed and pulled all around; a brother of my grandmother who hadn't seen me for years wanted to check if I was as tall as I seemed. I wouldn't blame the man, though, he did have quite a horrible memory and severe astigmatism.

I don't want to seem insensitive but sometimes (if not at all times), fat's fat, and my cousins definitely showed it. I had short bursts of panic attacks when, one after one, they mistook my laptop for a slate and decided to scribble on it with a chalk. So, between running from my stool in the corner to where my laptop was seated on the sofa, I was uprighted, made to probe beneath cots for lost earrings, forced to recite my academic qualifications again and again (I'm from south India, where four years in Dubai means I'm a sweaty Thor Heyerdahl), get glasses of juice for anything-but-phlegmatic uncles determined to seem smarter than me when I hadn't said a word.

Sleep would have to wait. Something had to make up for all this, I thought, something really had to. Perhaps dollar bills would be handed out to commemorate this memorable reunion, perhaps they'd offer access to some of their notable contacts along the way, perhaps... No. There's no such thing as a free lunch1, but sure as hell there's a lunch to be paid for with an arm and a leg.